Liz meets Jesus

“Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there..
If I rise on the wings of the awn,
If I settle on the far side of the sea,
Even there your hand will guide me,
Your right hand will hold me fast.”
Psalm 139: 7-10 (NIV)

I feel led to continue sharing my personal testimony that I briefly shared in the previous post. Before I move on to my calling to Rwanda, I really want to share a full glimpse of my spiritual journey, so my calling may be better understood within the context of my life.

So…World Gathering of Young Friends in 2005 in England has appeared to be a spiritual turning point for me. It was at this Gathering, in a deeply centered silent meeting for worship that I had a vision of Jesus. This vision spoke so deeply to me, it showed the deep love of Jesus—not only for myself, but for others. Looking back, it was as if a seed of hope had been planted in my life.

Before I went to the Young Adult Friends Conference in New Jersey, in February of 2007, I had been dealing with quite a stomach ache, that was worsened by a turbulent flight (remember this stomach ache, for later details as it all comes full circle).

On Saturday night, there was a two hour long meeting for worship, I was centered and present. The first thing that stood out to me was during this worship I really felt the Spirit move through me for the first time, I quaked. I heard God say ‘Stand and Deliver’ and I was fighting it with all my might—I was thinking why would I stand up and speak when I had nothing to say!

I took several deep breaths and cleared my mind of such thoughts. Immediately an image came to my mind of a dark cave—the door swung open and out came this huge yo-yo type object that went in and out. For some reason this image was important. I stood, silent for a bit. I spoke, but I wasn’t sure what I was saying. It was a bit scary, overwhelming and also quite awesome. I sat after I delivered the message and tears came out of overwhelming (good) emotion at this initial experience.

It took a bit of time for me to re-center myself back into the heart of worship. There were many Friends that spoke, as the Spirit was busy with movement! Later, I felt another such urge in my stomach—but I knew it wasn’t another vocal ministry type leading. This was different. This was in reference to something that resurfaced from a vision I had at World Gathering of Young Friends—Jesus.

Since the time of World Gathering, (2 years) I had really had this vision on my mind and what it was trying to communicate to me. I am often unsure of such matters, so I chose not to seek what it meant to me (in retrospect-perhaps it was about timing).

That terrible stomach-ache I mentioned earlier came to mind. Something clicked—was this stomach problem and this current stomach ache related to my spiritual hunger? Was the ultimate path, Jesus, the mile marker I was ready for? I thought of a particular friend in attendance, who I knew to be deeply in love with Jesus, and sought her out after the closure of worship.

We wandered around the outside of the meeting house (chilly, snowy, but beautiful) as I brought her up to speed on how God had been working. As we walked, she shared her story with me, full of honesty and energy. I could feel the truth in her words and the passion for her faith. Something inside of me longed deeply for the love she spoke of-it felt as though it was the missing piece in my life.

We sat on a bench outside and prayed. As I asked Jesus into my heart, I had an image of Jesus and my heart merging—it was too much for words. I was very thankful for my friend’s presence at this tie. Afterwards I still felt the slight ache it my belly—but it was more like a WOW ache. I felt relieved on various levels as if this were a start of a new beginning—a fresh page and the start of a deep, loving faith journey with Jesus. Words don’t suffice in such situations.

Coming next: (drumroll please) Installment 1 of my calling to Rwanda